Happy Halloween

Silent Sunday

Why don't relationships have an idiots guide????

I’m really wasn’t sure as to whether or not to actually publish this post but the trouble is that if I don’t get some of my thoughts out of my system I may well actually explode!!!

Yesterday ‘The Man’ and I had our first argument which was all over something completely ridiculous, although I feel like we both have a point. It’s been a long long time since I was in a relationship and ‘The Man’ is starting again after a decade so I guess it will be weird for both of us to get used to being in a ‘new’ relationship again.

What I don’t know is the easiest way to get through the minefield. When I was (being forced into) setting my Internet Dating profile up on line there were certain things I knew I wanted from a man. The absolute certainties for me were that he needed to:

a)      Already have kids

b)      Not have any huge desire to get married

c)       Have a good work ethic

All of which ‘The Man’ has and, as at our age everyone comes with baggage, I thought that I was prepared for that and the compromise that comes with it. What I wasn’t prepared for was actually how black and white my feelings are on some things.

I feel like I need to set out a ‘relationship rules’ guideline or something seeing as these things don’t come with a useful manual!!!!!  I’m obviously NOT actually going to say this to him but so far my ideals would be:

-          -  He has to text me at least once in the working day! Preferably before lunch. I don’t care what the text says but I want him to want to contact me. I know it’s such a ridiculous thing but if I don’t hear from him I presume that he either doesn’t want me and has gone off me or has crashed his car on the way to work etc.....see previous post about being a girl!! I then spend the whole day on the emotional rollercoaster and not actually doing anything!!!! (side note: must buy the work colleagues some chocolates to apologise for being crap and completely unproductive for the last three weeks!!)

-          - See me twice a week. I don’t care which days/nights/times and it doesn’t have to be set in stone but surely at this point in the relationship he should want to hang out with me, no matter how shit the day at work has been or how tired he is???

-          - Make an effort..... i.e. text me and tell me I’m beautiful, turn up unexpectedly, send me flowers, call me at lunchtime for no reason, make me giggle constantly.....

-          - He has to be honest. Now I’m completely aware that this is a double edged sword and so far he has a 100% record on this. The problem is of course that the truth hurts like a bitch and I don’t always want to hear it. With the experience of many years of crap men however, I would still much prefer that him tell me he’s having a crap day and doesn’t want to see me........ (most of the time anyway!!)

So what do you think? Am I asking/expecting too much at this stage of the relationship? What are your ground rules or ideals and when did you spell them out in your relationship?? As always, I look forward to hearing your opinion and keeping me sane J

Half Term Fun

- Please ignore the shoddy camera work in this post.....my camera died and I'm having to make do with my phone! :'-(  Am hoping that Santa will bring me a new one!! 

The end of half term week found us at my Mum's in Norfolk. We decided to have a change of scenery and do something fun and so my Mum and Chick thought that bowling would be a nice idea.  I haven't been bowling for many years but was up for having a go. It's amusing just how competitive we are as a family......although not sure why my Mum and I bother as it turns out that we are absolutely terrible bowlers and needless to say we both lost!!! 

I love watching the family together, my Mum and Chick are like two peas in a pod and it blows my mind to see just how alike they are. Throw in some sexy bowling shoes, lots if whooping and high fiving and my heart just soars:

We were so loud that we scared everyone else away and pretty much had the place to ourselves.......even better for victory dances when getting a strike!! I was also tempted to steal the sexy shoes, probably some of the comfiest shoes I've ever worn!!!

Later that evening, a family decision was taken to not go to the pub (our usual habit on a Friday night!!) but to grab some fish and chips on the sea front and then to stay home and just hang out together. Mum, Chick and I all got into bed together, ate biscuits and sang along very badly with The Sound of Music:

It may not sound like a very Rock 'n' Roll Friday night but we had such a giggle. Try singing along in your loudest voice to this and see if it makes you smile......................

Yesterday we came back to attend the wedding of my oldest friend Mandi. She looked absolutely stunning (to be honest you could put her in a paper bag and she'd look amazing!!) and we had a lovely night. I may be regretting the last few Jack Daniels today but it was lovely to see her so happy.....and dancing like a loon:

What a lovely end to a fabulous week :-)

Happy Days in Derbyshire......

This week, Chick and I have been off on half term and for some bizarre reason we seem to be the only schools in the Country that are!! Today we were supposed to be going to visit my Mum but due to their B&B being so popular they couldn't fit us in so we have to wait until tomorrow. We therefore had an unexpected day to do something with and decide on an impromptu trip to some of my favourite places in Derbyshire.

Firstly we went to Matlock Bath to enjoy the Autumn sunshine and eat fish 'n' chips by the river. We then meandered to Bakewell to buy a pudding and walk along the river. The weather took a turn for the worse and it was f-f-f-f-f-f-f-freezing:

I was going to write a long post about Bakewell and Chatsworth and then remembered that I'd written one over at Smitten by Britain last year that I couldn't better so here goes..............

Bakewell is a lovely village set in the Heart of the Peak District National Park, a beautiful place in Derbyshire and dating back to the Saxon times. The Church dates back to 920 a.d although much of the ‘modern’ building dates from the 13th Century!

Jane Austen is rumoured to have stayed in The Rutland Arms hotel which is still standing today and is mentioned in Pride & Prejudice where Elizabeth meets the Darcy’s and Mr.Bingley. Their greatest claim to fame though is that their Chef in 1859 invented the great Bakewell pudding by mistake. Plenty of shops in the Town sell the puddings, all claiming to have the ‘original’ recipe!

Just 4 miles away from Bakewell, is one of my favourite places, not just in the East Midlands but in the whole of England. From the main road you take a sharp right and drive a mile or so and when you reach the peak of the hill laid out before you is this sight which always makes my heart soar:

This is Chatsworth House which I believe is one of the most beautiful of all the stately homes in the UK. Some of you may recognise it from blockbusters like Pride & Prejudice and The Duchees but the house dates back to the Saxon times. Building on the current house was started by Bess of Hardwick in 1553 and it’s now owned by the 12th Duke of Devonshire, son of one of the Mitford Sisters.

It’s hard for me to know where to start with telling you what I love most about Chatsworth and what makes it so amazing for me! I don’t know if it’s that it awesome in every Season. In the Summertime the gardens are just out of this world and you could spend a whole day exploring and enjoying and discovering new things. There are gardens designed by Capability Brown or maybe the Arboretum that has some of the oldest specimens of Giant Seqouia in the UK. They have Fountains that were made especially for the proposed visit of Tsar Nicholas I of Russia and a Maze. My favourite of all the things in the gardens is the Cascade Fountain:

It’s so impressive from every angle and has 24 cut steps, each slightly different and with a variety of textures so that each gives a different sound when water runs over and down them.

I love the house as well but my favourite time to visit is at Christmas. The decorations and trees are awesome and the atmosphere is just sooooo lovely! It has 126 rooms most of which aren’t seen by the public but you would never know that and there isn’t a particular style to the house. It’s a little bit mis-matched and I think that’s part of what endears me to it! They also have a River running through the front garden:

If you are ever in the UK long enough to make it out of London you should head up to the Peak District and explore. Not only to see Bakewell and Chatsworth but for the walking, spa breaks and history

Rio Screening at London Zoo

Last Saturday we were invited to watch a special preview of Rio at London Zoo before it's released on DVD. The blurb about the film is described as:  From the makers of ICE AGE comes a high-flying animated comedy for the whole family. Blu is an exotic pet bird who believes he's the last of his kind. But when his owner learns about Jewel, Blu's female counterpart in Rio de Janeiro, they set out on the adventure of a lifetime. Even though he's never learned to fly, Blu befriends a group of wise-cracking city birds who help him find the courage to spread his wings and follow his destiny! It’s a lovely family film although the ‘bad bird’ is really quite scary!!!!




The DVD also lets you download 15 bonus levels of Angry Birds which are not available any where else.

We watched the film with some other lovely Mummy bloggers, where there was lovely food, face painting and free cuddly toys:

After the film we got to meet our very own Macaw:

Then we had some spare time to hit the zoo. The things that Chick wanted to see most were the chimps and she even wore a themed top:

And the Giraffes......such lovely, graceful animals....unlike myself and Chick. She also made friends with Kyd, Alice’s son and we spent a couple of hours chatting and wondering around the zoo together:

All in all a fabulous day.  Rio is released on DVD on the 24^th of October. Fancy joining in the fun before then?? You can play the Monkey vs Birds game or Rio in a row :-)

Time to say goodbye......

When I first started at my current job 5 years ago and I was the new girl, there was a man who started just after me (who we shall call the Organ Grinder) and we rapidly became good friends. I find our relationship very hard to quantify or put into a box without going into lengthy descriptions but if I were to describe it on Faceboook I guess I would go with ‘It’s Complicated’!!!

A few weeks ago nearing the 5 year point of us knowing each other he told me that he was leaving. I’m really pleased for him as he has bagged a better job with less hours, more money and which is closer to home.  It’s only really hit me in the last few days that I actually won’t see him every day and I won’t have my rock at work. My emotions have been all over the place this last week what with meeting ‘The Man’ and saying goodbye to the Organ Grinder but actually one wouldn’t have worked without the other.

The Organ Grinder probably doesn’t realise this but he has taught me many lessons both about myself and about being in a relationship. The main one being that it’s ok to be exactly yourself. Before I met the Organ Grinder I’d always tried to be whatever the other person wanted me to be but he only ever wanted me to be me......even with all the crazy!!

I find it really hard to let people into my head and through my barriers but some days I felt like he could read my mind. It takes a lot of getting used to, to let people get to know you well but I think we got there eventually. The thing that our relationship was built on was honesty. Even if we didn’t like what we were telling each other at least it was the truth.

The other thing that he taught me is that it’s fine to disagree. It doesn’t have to dissolve into a big argument or a screaming match and you can then let these things go. I’ve also learned that sometimes I need telling that I’m out of line and that I need to wind my neck in (but let’s not share that one with anyone else!!) This also doesn’t mean that I’m no longer loved or is any major problem, I just need to shut up occasionally and/or stop being ridiculous!

Mentally I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the fact that he will no longer be around for the past few weeks. We were never ‘together’ as it were but telling him about ‘The Man’ was one of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time. After I’d severed what feels like that final link, I cried on and off for the rest of the day.

And now I guess we’re done.... We are both moving forwwards. Me with ‘The Man’ and the Organ Grinder with his new job and colleagues and work life.......now I’m crying like a girl again....

What I was trying to say to him (really ineffectively) with this post is that he has meant the world to me over the last 5 years and without having met him, I wouldn’t be the same person that I am now. I also need to say a massive thank you for all of the lessons learnt as above and for giving me the courage to move into my new relationship as myself. He will never know how much that means to me xxx

Internet Dating..........Part 2.5

So last Wednesday I wrote a post about Internet Dating knocking the whole dating thing and saying it was a waste of time and that I was only being contacted by idiots. Literally as soon as I hit publish, fate decided to give me a massive elbow in the side and showed my profile to a lovely man who then got in touch with me.

We haven't stopped talking ever since and have been on a fab date where he wasn’t odd, naked, dwarf like, still didn’t ask my bra size, was an absolute gentleman and wasn’t weird in any way. Guess what....he can even spell ;-) I’m seeing him again tomorrow night…. I know shock, horror that I wasn’t crazy enough on the first date to put him off…..

The thing is though that I seem to have turned in to a schizophrenic, needy woman who doesn’t have a sodding clue what she wants (again, a surprise, I’m sure!)!!! If he texts me too often then I wonder why he doesn’t have anything better to do and if he doesn’t text me often enough then I wonder what the hell he’s up to.....even though I know he’s generally at work and erm......well working!

It’s been so long since that I was in a relationship that I feel completely winded. The best way I can describe (even though it’s cheesy) is that it’s like being on a rollercoaster. One minute I’m all ‘Wooooooo, someone likes me even though I’m crazy and hard work’ and then 10 minutes later I’m all ‘God, I don’t do relationships, what am I thinking? How can he like me??’!!! Then I go back to grinning inanely because he’s sent me a text.........for at least 20 minutes until I’m on a downward spiral again.

Soooo the point of this rambling was to say ‘Wooooooo, someone likes me even though I’m crazy and hard work’......Now if you could keep it to yourselves and not tell me BFF that she was right about this internet dating thing, I’d much appreciate it :-)  

Silent Sunday

Internet Dating..........Part 2

I should apologise for the overuse of the word dumbass in this post and also for the swear words!!

For the past however many years I have been single. I don't have a problem with this as I presumed that I would just meet someone when fate deemed it right. It turns out however that my friends in all their wisdom, think that I should be giving fate a helping hand, so I've jumped in at the deep end and (by actual force and tequila persuasion) have joined a dating website. 

These are my thoughts so far:

1) If you have a half naked picture I'm going to presume that:

a) you are properly vain

b) you don't have any brain cells

c) you're not after a fat bird

2) If your profile has comprehensive spelling mistakes, I am going to presume you're:

a) a dumbass

b) lazy and incapable of using spell check

c) not the man for me

3) If you ask for my bra size at any point during the initial e-mails or actually at ANY point, I'm going to assume that you're:

a) a dumbass

b) only after sex and not worth my while

c) a dumbass

4) If u rite lik dis den i cant fookin understand, yeh, innit, so will not reply because I'm going to assume that you're:

a) a dumbass

b) have NO actual education

c) aren't worth my while


5) If you are already in a 'committed' relationship and e-mailing me then I suggest that you:

a) find a dictionary and look up the word 'committed'
b) Concentrate on the relationship you already have because your partner is probably bloody miserable!!
c) look up the word 'dumbass' in the dictionary!


6) It's completely amazing that sooooo many of you spend so much time in the gym. I suggest that:

a) you are full of shit
b) you have no brain cells
c) you are NOT the man for me


7) I'm thinking that this dating thing is bullshit!!!!! Do you:

a) Agree
b) Disagree
c) Laugh and agree it will make decent blog fodder???

I look forward to hearing from some genuine people!!!

Silent Sunday